digital scrapbook.

some photos, some words, plenty of stories.

last week, walking and talking on alki.

the water was choppy and windy...this was just before a wave jumped right on out to meet us.

we retreated, wet, to our warm car very soon after!

how did i end up with so many friends from indiana??

this is katy, she stayed over at our house on her way home from canada to her home state.

she and dana had lots of fun reading the book that dana brought home from the library.

the day before i left town to head back to texas i got to meet up with some of my fellow seamar interns! it was a fun time just catching up on the last 6 months.

later that day a group of us got to help my friends justin and allie move to a new house! well, kind of. i played with baby james and made homemade hot chocolate in honor of national cocoa day. but the packing went so quickly that we were done with tons of time to spare, so we sat around their packed up living room and played games! it's our favorite thing to do. afterwards, the reeds, craig and i all went to the matador for some happy hour nachos. the nachos are hard to beat, but the conversation is always the best part. i'm blessed to get to do life here with people who passionately seek jesus and who live their lives in a way that exposes sin and walks in repentence. it was a good time of asking questions back and forth, listening, and being reminded of truth.

the next day i got to go to my second christmas party of the season at the ellis' house- AND i got to make oreo truffles as a treat! it was a neighborhood party, but most of our community group made it as well! then, a measley few hours later at 5:30am, i (sleepily) boarded my plane to oklahoma city!! i enjoyed the views from the window seat, as always, did quite a bit of reading, and my fair share of dozing as well...and then i was there!

right after i flew in, in the kitchen (where else??) with my mom and grammy.

the day and a half that i was in okc was relaxed, which i was thankful for! i got to cook a lot of really delicious food, got to look at the classic chesapeake lights (sorry, no photo!), and caught up on the most recent family happenings. before i knew it on sunday morning we headed out early to get back to texas. (but not without a stop at the gap outlet in gainesville!)

back in fort worth with my dad and natalie!

since i'll be missing out on the big family christmas this next weekend, we organized a spontaneous dinner at our house so i could see everyone, and almost everyone made it! we laughed a lot, as we do, and traded stories on what everyone has been up to. everyone is in college or has graduated! we're getting so old.

most of the cousins, plus dad.

the next day i spent the morning with kelsey and the afternoon with victoria, which was a treat. dinner with the family, some fro-yo for dessert, and then the next morning i packed up and headed to the airport! i left closer to 4:45am that time... needless to say, my sleep schedule is more than a little bit off. i got to sit next to a little 7 year old boy with a puppy on the flight back, which was entertaining to be sure. more reading, LOTS of photo editing (more to come on that!), and then i was back to seattle!

the trip was super fast, but i feel like i got to see almost everyone. this week too has been a blur in itself- i can't believe tomorrow is friday already. i have lots of blog posts queued up, the key is finding the time to write them!

exciting fact of the day: the days are getting longer now as opposed to shorter!! yay. because an 8 hour day is just kind of sad.

until next time,

tracey

regenerating grace.

i was listening to one of mark driscoll's sermons on grace the other day. mostly people think of grace in two forms: common grace (food, rain, natural abilities, creativity) and saving grace. in the sermon, mark lists many more than that. (15 i think??) one that stuck out to me was regenerating grace.

regenerating grace is the grace that God gives to us in changing our hearts and making us new. we desire things that we didn't used to, and things that used to be appealing no longer are. i used to believe the lie that my desire to do things well, serve people freely, live in the light, or be obedient stemmed from being raised well. while having parents that instilled these ideas in me is a component, apart from the regenerating grace of Jesus, these things would constantly be at war with the lazy and selfish desires in me. those do exist, sure, but my deepest desires are steadily being conformed through regenerating grace to mirror those of Jesus.

these past few months i've seen several areas of my heart changing to desire to the things that are true and good, things that are in direct opposition to society and culture. i'm thankful for the reminder that THIS is evidence of the work of the Holy Spirit in me!

love,
tracey

pictures.

i promised pictures, and here they are!

peeping through the clouds one afternoon. (it wouldn't be a picture blogpost without at least one picture of rainier!)

zippy's: the best cheeseburgers in west seattle.

triple date with the reeds...

...and the harris'!

on another day craig and i got to go bowling with the harris'- nolan wasn't quite sure what to think of all the loud noises

polyclinic semiformal christmas party! any chance to wear fancy dresses to a fancy party...yes please!

there was so much good food- cheeses, smoked salmon, crab cakes, wontons, potstickers, bruschetta, stuffed mushrooms, mashed potato bar, desserts galore, and the list goes on!

the dancing really kicked off around 9, once people had loosened up a bit. dana and i were having a blast, laughing so hard at ourselves, each other, and everyone else!

photobooth! we went back twice more with a couple that we know from church who also happened to be at the party. what a great thing to have at a party!

that's all for now!

love,

tracey

self-righteous.

i'm not perfect. and to pretend to be is to operate out of a very self-righteous mindset. it is inevitable that i will let people down, unintentionally hurt them, disappoint them. i'm human, after all. but to take this failure (in the sense of a shattered sense of idealized perfection) and let it take root in me, to claim it and wallow in defeat or disappointment, is not only unreasonable, it's sin. it's sin because in that mentality, i am essentially saying that i am good enough. and in attempting to be "good enough," i am entirely missing the point of the fact that Jesus died because i am not, nor can i ever be, good enough. if He is willing to love and forgive me when i was living in unbelief and rebellion, who am i to be unwilling to forgive myself, being a stickler in even the most seemingly insignificant things? who am i to turn down the grace that was so costly and is so freely given?

to walk in the knowledge that i am not perfect, i will make mistakes, and that i get to live in grace is lifegiving.

check out the sermon that the Lord used to reveal this to me HERE.

next update i promise to have pictures :)

love,
tracey

steadfast love.

this morning i read:

" 'this is like the days of Noah to me: as i swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so i have sworn that i will not be angry with you, and will not rebuke you. for the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my STEADFAST LOVE shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed' says the Lord, who has compassion on you." isaiah 54:9-10

what great truth that i need to remember every day. that the Lord loves with a love that cannot be broken or withdrawn. it is undeserved and freely given, and therefore we cannot do anything to disqualify ourselves from receiving it. we cannot earn it, and therefore we cannot lose it. and that is what sustains through the good times and the hard, hope in the fact that we live for the eternal, hope which cannot be taken away.

last week at church we started a new sermon series after having spent the past two years studying the book of  luke. since i only moved up to seattle just over a year ago, that's all i've known! it was exciting to start a new series. last week's sermon was more of a documentary on mars hill, how it got started in a living room, made its way through multiple sites around seattle, drew in all kinds of people who just kind of wandered in off the street and had their lives transformed. i was encouraged to see the boldness with which the gospel has always been preached, and how mars hill has grown against all odds. to see how even through impossible circumstances and hard times, the church persevered, holding onto the hope that the gospel is true and that everyone should have the opportunity to hear it.

seeing the behind the scenes look at how the church came to be where it is now was neat. i was reminded that many of the things that are involved in the process are things that i really enjoy: things like figuring out how to get stuff done in the most efficient and effective way, or how to make people feel welcome, how to serve them, how to do real life with people and point them to truth. if you want to see the story, you can check it out HERE.

gosh. it got late fast! and there's so much to blog about.

until next time,
tracey

sugar cookies.

this has been a very fun holiday weekend.

the day after thanksgiving was beautiful, so i went on a walk along the water at lincoln park. i love walking there. it's the first park i found when i moved here, and still one of my favorites. sometimes i listen to music or podcasts, sometimes i just listen to the waves and think. friday was the latter. for most of my walk i was thinking about how the bible tells us time and time again not to be afraid. i've been reading in isaiah lately, and it seems like every chapter at least once there is the command "fear not." the Lord was good to remind me during my walk that where he has me now is GOOD, that he is faithful to provide, and that my fear (in any sense, from lack of a job, to where i'll be in a year, to what people think of me) stems from a lack of trust in Him.

after my walk i did some little things around the house as dana decorated everything for christmas!! i walked down to starbucks in the afternoon and sipped on a soy chai, one of my favorite starbucks treats, and which i've always called "christmas in a cup."

on saturday after community group i helped the reeds with "family clean day." baby reed is due in a matter of weeks, and katy wanted to get everything spick and span clean before the big day comes. craig and i scrubbed the kitchen clean (that's our area of expertise), every drawer, cabinet, and surface. katy and tyler cleaned their room and the living room, all while singing along to christmas music. when we were all done, it was a thing to behold. in return for our help, the reeds gave us a Creative  Date! a friend of ours puts them together, and when you buy one, you get a series of envelopes with clues on them. the theme of ours is "a tourist in seattle"- so when we go, we'll open the first clue, figure out where it leads, go there and do something, then open the second clue. i think there are 5 or 6 in total, and the last one leads to a highly recommended (by our foodie friends) restaurant. it sounds like so much fun, and i can't wait to go!

we spent the rest of the evening playing games and making sugar cookies. i'm thankful for friends who are like family, so comfortable to be around, and so full of laughs! phase 10 got everyone hyped up, and after that, the reeds relaxed on the couch and craig and i baked the cookies. i sure do have a lot of good conversations in that kitchen. it helps that i have a key to their house, it's practically my second home, and i do most of my baking there :)

we didn't have christmas cookie cutters. but you can't go wrong with hearts!

i actually put effort into these ones to take home.

after that, we just slathered some icing on and ate them :)

the look of concentration?

monopoly deal. the new banangrams.

after church today there was a decorating party, and anyone who was interested could stay and help out. i did, and got to climb ladders, use a power drill, AND a staple gun. days like today i'm especially thankful for parents that taught me such things! i like to learn how to do things, and know how things work. today i enjoyed hearing the big picture idea, then getting the creative license to figure it out and go with it.

too many hands for one small felt circle?

hanging lanterns with power.

stapling lights to the ceiling.

a bit precarious.

a quick trip to the gym, a homemade dinner-by-dana, and ice cream with dana and emily....a beautiful end to the day.

and now to go crawl into my warm bed and read because i've been shivering all evening!

love,
tracey

thanksgiving.

yesterday i got to spend the entire day at the reed's house, cooking, cleaning, laughing, playing games, and enjoying the company of my friends who are family. everyone brought their favorite family recipe to cook, and the lineup was delicious.

sausage mushroom stuffing and a mimosa (ginger ale for the preggo lady)

lots and lots of card games

pizza dip: gone in a flash. it wouldn't be a day at the reed's without something pizza related.

true to us. thankful to live out life as roommates.

the table setting was fresh and beautiful.

gin and 7up, a mellina family tradition!

the spread.

katy: creamy mashed potatoes, rustic apple pie, crusty bread sausage dip

kelsey: jellied cranberries, beveridges

craig: champagne turkey, fruited jello dessert

me: brown sugar yam casserole, herb stuffing, hot pizza dip

dana: cheddar green bean casserole

ready to dig in!

the men.

fun fun fun!

liar's bridge.

the dishwashing and kitchen-cleaning professionals.

there was lots of good conversation, including going around the room and saying something that we were thankful for. we were all thankful for our community here, that we have people that love and shepherd us, point us to truth. we were thankful for evidences of God's work in our lives, thankful that we have houses to sleep in and food to eat. thankful for our families, scattered across the states. thankful that God chose each of us, to open our eyes to know him. thankful that he gives us the desire to know him more, and the means to do so. thankful that Jesus redeemed our souls to make it possible.

and thankful for taste buds and a sense of smell, to enjoy every bite of that delicious meal to the fullest.

love,
tracey

november.

i've been mia.

in my absence from the blogging world...

i roasted an 18 pound turkey for the proxy thanksgiving celebration at church:

(it turned out so well that i got asked for the recipe!)

i made some delicious hot chocolate from scratch for my roommates:

i eliminated the need for a spoon in our sugar jar:

(that's the top of an empty morton's salt container, in case you were curious.)

i ate nachos at the matador after campus cleanup:

i took some pregnant belly photos for the reeds:

(they're such great models.)

i went out to (and thoroughly enjoyed) a nice dinner and a concert:

AND i completed my first catering order (!!!) : 

(fruit tartlets)

it's been a very busy past few weeks. it's been neat to see the Lord provide in both big and small ways, from answering some very specific prayers, to something as simple as a babysitting opportunity that i unexpectedly got paid for. right now i have to run, i'm off to deliver my treats. (bonus points to anyone who can help me come up with a creative catering name!)

tomorrow is thanksgiving!

love,

tracey

manna.

today i turned in my resume at bakery nouveau and met three more starbucks managers, hoping that by putting a face with my name, my chances for an interview will go up. the last one was on alki, and afterwards i bought a peppermint mocha to sip on while i walked by the water. i've been job searching for almost two months now, and the market is saturated. everyone i've talked to has just finished up their seasonal hiring, and isn't looking to potentially hire until after new years. all the dietetic jobs i've applied to list several years of experience as a requirement. as i was walking along i started to get a little discouraged for the first time. the main thought running through my head: i worked hard to do well in school, moved across the country for an internship, cranked it out to pass my registration exam, and now have no opportunity to use all the skills i spent years developing! a thought process that screams entitlement and expectation, neither of which is right.

as i was walking and praying, i started thinking about the story of the exodus. the israelites are wandering through the desert grumbling and complaining that it would have been better for them to stay in slavery than to die of hunger in the desert. in response, the Lord rained down manna, a bread that they had never seen before, for them to eat. he met their needs in a way that they were not expecting, commanding them to gather just as much as they would need for each day, and twice as much on saturday, so that on sunday they could rest. but the best part about this story is that every day there was enough food for that day. those people who gathered a ton and tried to keep it overnight (that's me) came back to find it spoiled and rotten, and those who were only able to gather a little had enough. though the israelites initially lacked trust and tried to take their situation into their own hands, they learned that the Lord met their needs every day, no more, no less.

in the same way, the Lord provides for us. often in ways we have never known before, and often in ways we would not expect. this is the kind of faith that i desire: to look at what i have each morning and know that the Lord has given me exactly what i need, sometimes in a way that i feel like there is an abundance, and sometimes in a way that forces me to forego my ability to understand and trust that he will provide. right now, in this season, i see his provision through my parents who make it possible for me to pay my bills and eat food that i enjoy, as well as through my community who is quick to be generous. at the same time, i see him giving me an opportunity to trust, as i apply to job after job after job.

but i also see the blessing in other ways. the Lord has given me time. lots of time. i've been able to use it to do things that i really enjoy, like cooking and being outside and spending time with good friends. i've been able to relax. to sleep 8 hours a night. to bless my roommates. to enjoy the seattle fall. to grow a TON in my understanding of who God is and the grace that he gives so lavishly.

while i'm busy looking for his provision in the form of a job, am i missing the manna that is right in front of me?

(don't worry mom and dad, i'm still applying to jobs :) )

so i'm thankful for the season. and while i'm eager for a job, i can only do so much, and then rest and enjoy the blessings that the Lord has given me for this time. for today.

love,
tracey

testimony.

one of the challenges of being home all the time is wanting to bake ALL the time. technically i could, but i certainly don't need to, and none of us roomies really want all those desserts laying around anyway. (well, we do, but our clothes don't.)

nonetheless, i just went upstairs and jacqui pulled out a tray of perfect chocolate chip cookies from the oven, and stashed the rest of the dough in the fridge. there went my self control...if there's one thing that's basically impossible for me to resist, it's cookie dough and fresh-from-the-oven cookies. is this sabotauge or what??

this morning the four of us had roomie breakfast, which is always a great way to start the day. we finished just after 7 and it was still pitch black outside..the days of 4:30pm sunsets are coming soon enough. as much as i like the daylight, it's kind of fun to have such short days. i think i find it adventurous. one of these days i'll make it to alaska and (a) experience a day where the sun never comes up and (b) experience a day where the sun never goes down. (and i'll see the northern lights while i'm there.)

i applied for a job at starbucks today! i'm optimistic because i know they hire a lot of new employees without a lot of experience, AND they provide their part time employees benefits. when i filled in my availability, i chose the morning shifts....i might be working at 4:30am every day for the next season of my life. we'll see. i AM a morning person...usually. i was up at 5am everyday for my rotation in tacoma, 4am can't be that different, right?

today i also have been thinking through my testimony, which i will be giving for the campus cleanup crew tomorrow night. i always enjoy looking back and seeing how the Lord has grown me over the years, expelling lies and replacing them with truth, softening my heart, teaching me to live in the power of the Holy Spirit, breaking down my pride. it's neat to see the faithfulness of the Lord, proof that is encouraging in the times when i feel like i have no idea what i'm doing or what the purpose of whatever trial i'm in is. "and i am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." philippians 1:6

testimonies are powerful because they give evidence of the work of the Lord. it's good to remember where i've been, and to see how God broke into that and opened my eyes to truth. as i've been thinking through, this verse has come to mind:

"and you shall REMEMBER the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these 40 years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. and he humbled you, and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that you might know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these 40 years." deuteronomy 8:2-4

REMEMBER, don't forget.
he has LED you.
that he might HUMBLE you, thereby refining you as his image bearer.
he let you HUNGER, so that you might know your need for him, and then FED you in a way you could never have foreseen.
he TAUGHT you.
he PROVIDED for you and SUSTAINED you.
because he is ENOUGH.

i've seen these things so clearly over the past few months especially.

i'm headed to lincoln park for a walk...i've been inside all day. the weather is now COLD, not just chilly. but when i'm dressed right (which for this texan involves about 8 layers), i love walking along the water with the wind in my face.

(alki, not lincoln, but same idea)

love,
tracey

faithful.

these past few weeks have been blowing my mind. God has proved himself faithful time and time again, and i've been able to see tangible evidence of 2 timothy 2:13 "if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself." his timing is flawless. as i've been praying for answers, he's been opening and closing doors in ways that make it clear.

he's relentless in his pursuit of us, and he's precise in his provision for us.

this often plays out through the people i am blessed to be in community with here. there are married couples in my community group who constantly speak truth to me and let me watch as they live the married life, and who have taken a vested interest in my well-being. they seek me out, check up on me, have my back. they let me hold their babies (or press on their preggo bellies) for hours, and let me takeover their kitchens and cook with their not so janky-college-student-status utensils like we have at our house. they encourage me with truth and challenge me in sin. they welcome me into their homes as their own, and i love it.

that's all tonight.
just thankful.

love,
tracey

learn.

i've been learning a lot of big things these past few months.

1. job searching takes as much time as a full time job. i've applied to several dietetics jobs, as well as a few ones that i would just enjoy doing, such as being a baker at bakery nouveau. starbucks is next on the list.

2. when i'm home, i naturally take on the role of the house mom. i clean without really thinking, and i've been cooking several meals per week for my busy-bee roommates. it's fun for me to plan the meals, budget them out, shop for the ingredients, and then cook them to bless them. it all comes very naturally to me, and i've never really had a season of life where i could do that for any length of time. it also helps that my roommates and i have a community money  jar that i get to use for the roomie meals :)

3. as i watch what i gravitate toward when i have lots of time, i always either end up outside, in the kitchen, or with a book in a coffee shop. there are so many books that i want to tackle, and most of them are pretty theologically thick and take me a long time to read. i like to learn, but is my motivation in that simply to increase my head knowledge, or is it to be more effective in gospeling those around me? motivation check.

4. God is a Father, and i can relate to him as a daughter. he hears and answers prayers, and when i'm not hearing, it's usually because i'm not listening or have put something in the way. we can relate to him in a very personal way, and i've been learning what that looks like more practically.

5. homemade biscotti and decaf chai makes for a great bedtime snack.

6. i analyze conversations and overthink the things that i say because i want to control how people perceive me. in that, i put identity in their opinions, when my true identity is in Jesus alone. why do i give them that power over me? because i believe the lie that it matters what they think. don't hear me wrong- it is important to represent Jesus well. but to care about what people are thinking of the silly things i say (was that a total nerd comment? how could i have explained that differently?) or the fact that i can't have a non-awkward phone conversation to save my life (i'm serious...if you've known me for long enough, you know it's true) or that sometimes i totally miss the sarcasm and take the comment literally....i could go on and on. those quirky little personality things hold no eternal significance.

7. i can be bold because the Holy Spirit in me is bold, and i can call out what is biblically right and wrong without fear. this sparks in me and even deeper desire to know truth. also, we will often look foolish in the eyes of the world.

8. sometimes things can be good, but not lifegiving. it's okay to step away from them.

9. the heart is deceitful above all things (jer. 17:9), that's why we walk in community.

10. there's freedom in being known and being exposed, in not trying to hide sin or confusion, in being quick to ask for advice.

11. in mars hill lingo, i'm a king and then a priest. that means that i'm gifted primarily in administrative things, seeing things through, getting things done. secondly, in being compassionate and caring. the third category is prophet, someone who loves to know the ins and outs of doctrine, and who is gifted in understanding and teaching it. i think i really want to be that, but it's not exactly my strong suit, and that's okay. we're all gifted differently for a purpose, it's biblical.

12. i get impatient with the Lord's timing, which is a result of my lack of trust in him. i try to change my circumstances by trusting in myself and my abilities. it never fails that when i let go of my agenda, he always follows through, and his timing is ALWAYS perfect.

those are just what comes to mind now, but the list could go on. i've loved having the time to just live and learn these things, to be outside and adventurous, to pick blackberries at the park and make a cobbler with them, to read in coffee shops over bottomless cups of coffee, to go on long runs, to spend afternoons cooking with and for my friends, to give myself away. to find the things that are lifegiving to me.


love,
tracey

water taxi.

this week has been the busiest one i've had in a while. i had my orientation at the polyclinic, so i commuted downtown via water taxi for the first three days. (to escape the massive traffic backups due to construction on the viaduct from west seattle to downtown...resulting in what people are affectionately calling "viadoom") i enjoyed it- boating downtown was a nice change of pace. i hiked the uphill mile and a half through downtown on the other side, which i didn't mind a bit. downtown is such an adventure to me! one morning dana and i even got free donuts. (winner.)

(sunrise on the water)

(the water taxi got me across so quickly that i was early each time, so i picked a different coffee shop to sit and read in. this one was called oddfellows, and their espresso was delicious.)

on thursday katy and i took a little road trip up to everett to check out the flight restoration museum...aka to give tyler his spare keys because he locked his in the car. nobody ever really wants to spend 3 hours driving in traffic, but i was thankful for the katy-tracey time. we have fun even if we're just sitting on the couch doing nothing, and it was nice to have all the time to talk.

on friday i took ANOTHER spontaneous road trip, this time way south to olympia. that one wasn't as much fun because it was solo, but i did get to  listen to a few podcasts on the way. i dropped off my application for my washington dietetic certification (different from the RD credential) to expedite the long governmental process as much as possible so i can get paid at my new job! i was glad to have that paperwork done. i spent the rest of the afternoon making yummy bite sized treats for the halloween party that evening, meringue ghosts and chocolate peanut butter "spider bites."

i dressed up as a camp fire girl (with the vest i used to sport every year for selling candy) and dana went as the 80's. there were all kinds of great costumes, and the evening was full of lots of people, laughs, photos, and entirely too many chips and sweet treats.

this morning was community group, which i always look forward to. i missed it last week due to the maltby cafe adventure, and it was good to be back. i learn a lot from the couples in my group, and am thankful to be able to go to them with questions and for advice. the reeds gave their testimonies today, which i always love to hear because it's so encouraging to see the evidence of how the Lord has moved in people's lives.

the rest of today was a lazy day at the reed's house. we made a run to costco, i fixed them dinner, and tyler just showed up with ice cream, which is my cue to wrap this up and grab a spoon!

more to come later.

love,
tracey