manna.

today i turned in my resume at bakery nouveau and met three more starbucks managers, hoping that by putting a face with my name, my chances for an interview will go up. the last one was on alki, and afterwards i bought a peppermint mocha to sip on while i walked by the water. i've been job searching for almost two months now, and the market is saturated. everyone i've talked to has just finished up their seasonal hiring, and isn't looking to potentially hire until after new years. all the dietetic jobs i've applied to list several years of experience as a requirement. as i was walking along i started to get a little discouraged for the first time. the main thought running through my head: i worked hard to do well in school, moved across the country for an internship, cranked it out to pass my registration exam, and now have no opportunity to use all the skills i spent years developing! a thought process that screams entitlement and expectation, neither of which is right.

as i was walking and praying, i started thinking about the story of the exodus. the israelites are wandering through the desert grumbling and complaining that it would have been better for them to stay in slavery than to die of hunger in the desert. in response, the Lord rained down manna, a bread that they had never seen before, for them to eat. he met their needs in a way that they were not expecting, commanding them to gather just as much as they would need for each day, and twice as much on saturday, so that on sunday they could rest. but the best part about this story is that every day there was enough food for that day. those people who gathered a ton and tried to keep it overnight (that's me) came back to find it spoiled and rotten, and those who were only able to gather a little had enough. though the israelites initially lacked trust and tried to take their situation into their own hands, they learned that the Lord met their needs every day, no more, no less.

in the same way, the Lord provides for us. often in ways we have never known before, and often in ways we would not expect. this is the kind of faith that i desire: to look at what i have each morning and know that the Lord has given me exactly what i need, sometimes in a way that i feel like there is an abundance, and sometimes in a way that forces me to forego my ability to understand and trust that he will provide. right now, in this season, i see his provision through my parents who make it possible for me to pay my bills and eat food that i enjoy, as well as through my community who is quick to be generous. at the same time, i see him giving me an opportunity to trust, as i apply to job after job after job.

but i also see the blessing in other ways. the Lord has given me time. lots of time. i've been able to use it to do things that i really enjoy, like cooking and being outside and spending time with good friends. i've been able to relax. to sleep 8 hours a night. to bless my roommates. to enjoy the seattle fall. to grow a TON in my understanding of who God is and the grace that he gives so lavishly.

while i'm busy looking for his provision in the form of a job, am i missing the manna that is right in front of me?

(don't worry mom and dad, i'm still applying to jobs :) )

so i'm thankful for the season. and while i'm eager for a job, i can only do so much, and then rest and enjoy the blessings that the Lord has given me for this time. for today.

love,
tracey