learn.

i've been learning a lot of big things these past few months.

1. job searching takes as much time as a full time job. i've applied to several dietetics jobs, as well as a few ones that i would just enjoy doing, such as being a baker at bakery nouveau. starbucks is next on the list.

2. when i'm home, i naturally take on the role of the house mom. i clean without really thinking, and i've been cooking several meals per week for my busy-bee roommates. it's fun for me to plan the meals, budget them out, shop for the ingredients, and then cook them to bless them. it all comes very naturally to me, and i've never really had a season of life where i could do that for any length of time. it also helps that my roommates and i have a community money  jar that i get to use for the roomie meals :)

3. as i watch what i gravitate toward when i have lots of time, i always either end up outside, in the kitchen, or with a book in a coffee shop. there are so many books that i want to tackle, and most of them are pretty theologically thick and take me a long time to read. i like to learn, but is my motivation in that simply to increase my head knowledge, or is it to be more effective in gospeling those around me? motivation check.

4. God is a Father, and i can relate to him as a daughter. he hears and answers prayers, and when i'm not hearing, it's usually because i'm not listening or have put something in the way. we can relate to him in a very personal way, and i've been learning what that looks like more practically.

5. homemade biscotti and decaf chai makes for a great bedtime snack.

6. i analyze conversations and overthink the things that i say because i want to control how people perceive me. in that, i put identity in their opinions, when my true identity is in Jesus alone. why do i give them that power over me? because i believe the lie that it matters what they think. don't hear me wrong- it is important to represent Jesus well. but to care about what people are thinking of the silly things i say (was that a total nerd comment? how could i have explained that differently?) or the fact that i can't have a non-awkward phone conversation to save my life (i'm serious...if you've known me for long enough, you know it's true) or that sometimes i totally miss the sarcasm and take the comment literally....i could go on and on. those quirky little personality things hold no eternal significance.

7. i can be bold because the Holy Spirit in me is bold, and i can call out what is biblically right and wrong without fear. this sparks in me and even deeper desire to know truth. also, we will often look foolish in the eyes of the world.

8. sometimes things can be good, but not lifegiving. it's okay to step away from them.

9. the heart is deceitful above all things (jer. 17:9), that's why we walk in community.

10. there's freedom in being known and being exposed, in not trying to hide sin or confusion, in being quick to ask for advice.

11. in mars hill lingo, i'm a king and then a priest. that means that i'm gifted primarily in administrative things, seeing things through, getting things done. secondly, in being compassionate and caring. the third category is prophet, someone who loves to know the ins and outs of doctrine, and who is gifted in understanding and teaching it. i think i really want to be that, but it's not exactly my strong suit, and that's okay. we're all gifted differently for a purpose, it's biblical.

12. i get impatient with the Lord's timing, which is a result of my lack of trust in him. i try to change my circumstances by trusting in myself and my abilities. it never fails that when i let go of my agenda, he always follows through, and his timing is ALWAYS perfect.

those are just what comes to mind now, but the list could go on. i've loved having the time to just live and learn these things, to be outside and adventurous, to pick blackberries at the park and make a cobbler with them, to read in coffee shops over bottomless cups of coffee, to go on long runs, to spend afternoons cooking with and for my friends, to give myself away. to find the things that are lifegiving to me.


love,
tracey

water taxi.

this week has been the busiest one i've had in a while. i had my orientation at the polyclinic, so i commuted downtown via water taxi for the first three days. (to escape the massive traffic backups due to construction on the viaduct from west seattle to downtown...resulting in what people are affectionately calling "viadoom") i enjoyed it- boating downtown was a nice change of pace. i hiked the uphill mile and a half through downtown on the other side, which i didn't mind a bit. downtown is such an adventure to me! one morning dana and i even got free donuts. (winner.)

(sunrise on the water)

(the water taxi got me across so quickly that i was early each time, so i picked a different coffee shop to sit and read in. this one was called oddfellows, and their espresso was delicious.)

on thursday katy and i took a little road trip up to everett to check out the flight restoration museum...aka to give tyler his spare keys because he locked his in the car. nobody ever really wants to spend 3 hours driving in traffic, but i was thankful for the katy-tracey time. we have fun even if we're just sitting on the couch doing nothing, and it was nice to have all the time to talk.

on friday i took ANOTHER spontaneous road trip, this time way south to olympia. that one wasn't as much fun because it was solo, but i did get to  listen to a few podcasts on the way. i dropped off my application for my washington dietetic certification (different from the RD credential) to expedite the long governmental process as much as possible so i can get paid at my new job! i was glad to have that paperwork done. i spent the rest of the afternoon making yummy bite sized treats for the halloween party that evening, meringue ghosts and chocolate peanut butter "spider bites."

i dressed up as a camp fire girl (with the vest i used to sport every year for selling candy) and dana went as the 80's. there were all kinds of great costumes, and the evening was full of lots of people, laughs, photos, and entirely too many chips and sweet treats.

this morning was community group, which i always look forward to. i missed it last week due to the maltby cafe adventure, and it was good to be back. i learn a lot from the couples in my group, and am thankful to be able to go to them with questions and for advice. the reeds gave their testimonies today, which i always love to hear because it's so encouraging to see the evidence of how the Lord has moved in people's lives.

the rest of today was a lazy day at the reed's house. we made a run to costco, i fixed them dinner, and tyler just showed up with ice cream, which is my cue to wrap this up and grab a spoon!

more to come later.

love,
tracey

second shooting.

second shooting: the act of being hired on as the second photographer at an event.

yesterday i got to help my good friends katy and erica at a wedding they planned in bellevue (they have an event planning business called paper hearts). when i got there, erica's husband ryan asked me to second shoot for him! they were paying him to photograph the event, and he basically hired me on the spot to take photos too. i earned a little bit of money, and i don't even have to edit the photos (which is the time consuming part of being a photographer). i just took a ton and hand them over to him!

i don't think i really get credit for the photos, but at this point, i have quite a bit of improving to do anyway. it's a neat way to get practice and make a little bit of spare change in the process, and hopefully get my name out and about.

here are a few of the good ones:

another plus of being part of the wedding planning team....getting to eat some of the leftover treats :)

love,
tracey

cinnamon roll.

if there is such thing as a cinnamon roll coma, i experienced it on saturday morning. a group of us got together to drive out to the tiny town of maltby to have brunch at the widely-known maltby cafe, where the cinnamon rolls are the size of a dinner plate.

i think there were 10 or so of us there, and we split two and STILL had leftovers! it was impressively good though. i had my doubts....a cinnamon roll that size was bound to be too dry or too boring or something, but apart from having raisins (i'm not a fan), it was pretty delicious.

most of the group then headed out to a farm after that to wander through a HUGE corn maze in the shape of washington, drink apple cider, and pick some pumpkins to carve from the patch, but a few of us headed home after breakfast to avoid the very wet weather.

i ended up heading over to the reeds house, where i spent the rest of the day with katy, tyler, and craig. we made a family costco run (we're all transplants to seattle from other states, so we're our own little family), then played games all afternoon. cribbage, monopoly deal, and next time, definitely bananagrams. as is tradition, we made pizza for dinner. katy made a veggie one and a white chicken and spinach one. i got a little adventurous and made a deep dish stuffed crust pepperoni one, which might have been the favorite of the evening. we'll definitely be doing that again. we closed the night out by watching the elephant room, which is basically a series of debates between several acts 29 network pastors on various topics. they debated things like the pros and cons of multi-site churches with videocasting (like mars hill), and the concept of the prosperity vs the poverty gospel (false ideas which basically say that if you really believe in God and are following him well you will be rich and well off (prosperity gospel) or you will sell everything you have and be poor (poverty gospel)). they were really interesting and made me think.

all in all, it was a great saturday that i spent with people who are dear to me. it was nice to just relax all day after working so hard to apply to several jobs at the end of last week.

today was a great day too, but i'll write about that another time. i'm headed to bed, because tomorrow i'm getting up bright and early for my orientation and paperwork day at the polyclinic!

love,

tracey

busy bee.

this week has flown by. i started a blogpost last weekend and never got to finish it because there was so much fun fun fun going on! after community group on saturday (always a highlight) i got to assemble the cake that i baked the day before- 4 layers of carrot and cream cheese goodness. it turned out to be a beauty.

it was for jacqui's birthday party, which was a blast. we made burritos, then headed to the bowling alley...

...though i didn't actually end bowling, because about the time we got there, the reeds came by to pick me up so we could go watch the debut of kelsey's blues band. they're AWESOME. the place was up near the college, and katy and i laughed when a guy came over to chat and then realized that katy is very married and very pregnant. it was very obvious that neither of us frequents bars ever, and tyler (katy's husband) came to rescue us from our awkward laughter (as we had literally just been talking about how her preggo belly kept creepy guys away). he started chatting with the guy and it actually ended up being a pretty decent conversation, apart from the fact that the guy probably won't remember a word of it.

on monday i went to open home at the gillebo house. after some of allie's homemade chicken noodle soup, i made pumpkin ice cream and cinnamon cookies for dessert. allie also let me craft away on her sewing machine, and i made my first ever circle scarf!

it was actually very easy. i had leftover fabric from when i made my duvet cover a year ago, and this piece was big enough to make a scarf. all in all, it probably only took 30 minutes!

this week has also been packed with job searching. i created lots of new accounts on job search engines, and submitted 4 more applications, including one at great harvest bread company, where they're hiring a part time baker!! that would be a fun job. i also plan on submitting my resume to bakery nouveau. both places hire additional staff for the holiday season, so maybe i can get a foot in the door and soak up all they have to teach me! the rest of the jobs were RD jobs, one at Swedish, one at the YMCA, and another at a different Swedish location.

i'll keep you posted.

i also started reading a couple new books this week. the doctrine book from mars hill, for one to make me think, and to kill a mockingbird, for one to relax and enjoy. i've read to kill a mockingbird before, but it's been a while. i've been biking more at the gym, and it's become my gym companion.

that's all for now. this weekend is going to be packed, which will hopefully make for a good post to come.

until then,

tracey





what is rest?

for me, it's not sleeping in. it's not sitting around and watching tv. it's not tuning out the world.

it's realizing who i am in relation to the Lord, and that He is ultimate.

this morning i woke up at 5:30 and headed upstairs to make birthday breakfast for jacqui: breakfast burritos and pumpkin spiced coffee. the four of us ate together while we talked about our ideas to open our house up for fellowship, and what that looks like. (we call it open home sunday....that's for another post.) after cleaning up, i caught sight of the full moon that was still in the sky and decided to go on a walk, so i headed to lincoln park. it's a chilly morning, but not cold, and not wet. it was quiet. the sky is clear, and the sunrise, though simple, was beautiful. i walked through the park for a while, praying about several things, but above all, just resting in the fact that God is a good father who loves us perfectly and provides for us in the most specific ways. it is such a peaceful realization to know that in the end, when i stand before God the Father and give an account for my life, i can honestly proclaim that i am a sinner, and then by grace can claim the righteousness of Jesus, who took the consequences of my sin upon himself. that He will then proclaim "justified! righteous in my sight!"

and that, above all, brings rest.

the Lord has been making that so clear to me lately, and that i'm so quick to chase the things that i want, things that look temporarily satisfying, but which in the end will ultimately pass away. He's been refining my understanding of what it is to rest in His presence, to trust that he is my good Father who provides for me in ways much better than i can. He's been emboldening me to say things that need to be said, to define things clearly, without fear that the world i've created around myself will come crumbling to pieces. because although it might, it would be ultimately for the purposes of His glory and my joy.

"COME to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and i will GIVE YOU REST. take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for i am gentle and lowly in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST for your souls. for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." matthew 11:28-30

the only condition is that we come, messy, burdened, tired, and weary. and the promise is that He will give us rest.

love,
tracey

(this is definitely not seattle, but is one of my favorite fall photos. manhattan, kansas, october 2009)

ladies first.

here i am sitting by the fireplace at the starbucks on alki on a rainy afternoon. i went up to go get a coffee and the older man and wife in front of me were taking a long time, ordering their drinks, then after paying, asking for change for a $5. the barista couldn't open the drawer without a transaction, so the husband bought something else, and turned to me a couple of times in this whole process apologizing that it was taking so long. turns out, he wanted to break the $5 so he could tip the barista for being so accomodating of their complicated drink order. he then turned to me to thank me for my patience.

a few minutes later the three of us were at the drink fixing stand, and his wife was using the half and half. he joked that he was in my way again, and told me that as soon as his wife was finished, he was going to wait for me to fix my drink before fixing his. i said that it was okay, i wasn't in a hurry, but he insisted, saying that i was a lady, and that we ladies need to be confident in the fact that there are still a handful of true gentlemen out there. because i am a lady, i deserve to be treated as one.

refreshing.

that kind of thing is certainly more common in texas, but even there is not necessarily the norm, and i certainly appreciated it. the kindness of the couple and persistent chivalry of the husband (while the wife looked on with a smile) quickly turned around my impatience with having to wait in line so long, and reminded me how nice it is to be treated like that, simply for the sake of being respectful and kind.