perfect.

someone recently said to me: "i mean, you have it all together. you don't have a job, but that's pretty much it. everyone likes you. you're basically perfect."

whoa. reality check. that's a very complimentary thing to say by society's standards, but to me, it was very convicting. either i've gotten really good at creating an i-have-it-all-together facade, or i'm not doing a very good job at boasting in my weaknesses so that the name of Jesus can be proclaimed (2 cor. 11:30, 12:9). probably both, because they go hand in hand.

i spent the next several minutes trying to explain that idea back to reality: i'm not perfect.

it's certainly easy to say that i want people to know the real me, but do i live that out? do i show the messy tracey who gets frustrated when she can't carry on a conversation or feels like she has nothing useful to contribute to it? who feels less-than-intellligent when she doesn't know what questions to ask, or inadequate when the act of pointing people to jesus looks more like a sloppy tuna noodle casserole than a classy 5 star filet mignon (1 cor. 1:17)? who puts too much pepper or ginger or you-name-it-ingredient in every third recipe she tries, but eats it anyway...who would rather run from conflict than deal with it head on...who goes a little crazy without a schedule, but also likes spontaneity, and can never make up her mind...who defaults to "yes" because she doesn't want to disappoint people? and most of those were just tangible things...i could go on and on!

the last thing i want is for people to perceive me as perfect. not only is that too much pressure, but it just isn't true! i want to be known and appreciated for who i am, shortcomings and all, because in that, there is both freedom to be me, and solid proof that Jesus redeems us and sanctifies us, even through our messiness.

"but when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." titus 3:4-7

love,
tracey